June 17, 2021



Goodbye One Eye! You were a good cat…

by Yannis Xamonakis / ApokoronasNews.gr – They say that you do not choose a cat – the cat chooses you. And in the case of my good cat One Eye, who died last week from acute kidney failure, that was certainly the case.

One Eye appeared from the agricultural path with his bother White one spring morning five years ago and despite my efforts to shoo him off, the determined kitten had decided to stay and fight with the other house cats for a place in the garden. He and his brother both stayed. But One Eye was wild. He spent his days and nights outdoors. When it was cold and wet he took cover in the boiler shed and on sunny days he positioned himself halfway  on the stairs whacking the other cats as they were going round him.

The first time he was taken to the vet to  be neutered he escaped causing  havoc in the surgery. He very rarely came into the house even though he enjoyed a stroke and rolled over to have his tummy tickled.  Even after he was neutered he remained aggressive and was always involved in some howling scrap with some passing tom cat.

One Eye and I  eventually bonded when he got himself badly injured  in 2012 and willingly got into the catbox by himself as if asking to be taken to the vet’s to get help.

At the surgery I warned the vet (a different vet this time) that the cat is a bit wild but he assured me that he ‘knows what he is doing’ – he is after all a professional.

A few minutes later I retrieved the injured One Eye from the air conditioning unit and placed him back in his box. But not before he bit me a few times.

The vet locked the box and attended to my wounds advising me to visit the health centre for some medical care while moping up the blood from the floor.

The result was a week’s  course of antibiotics for me and for the cat.

That week he stayed in and became a friendlier animal who would jump on my lap and purr like a normal cat. But because I could hardly use my left hand and because he needed some form of punishment for his behaviour,  I made him write the editorial for the then weekly edition of Apokoronas News.

This is One Eye’s take on the events in Greek politics in that particular week in 2012. It is worth noting  that the concerns, policies  and rhetoric have changed very little over the last three years.

“Following my unfortunate accident resulting from a scrap with another pussycat  who was much bigger than me, I spent all last week confined indoors, with nothing to do but read newspapers,  watch the news and get tasty wittles laced with some nasty  stuff which I spat out.

Well, it was not as much fun as chasing mice and having scraps with my fellow felines and the odd sheep, but it was a useful experience that made me reflect on the life of the cat. Why, I thought we had a hard life, those of us that are homeless and have to find our food in the dustbins and sleep rough. But maybe it’s not as bad as having to watch the news with Master Yannis  three times a day.

Same thing over and over again.

Anyway, I was moved by all the get well messages and decided to write something this week, to say thank you to all the well wishers and to give Master Yannis a break. I think he deserves it ,as he needs to rest his fingers that still hurt. I think he too had an accident  last week, but I’m not sure what happened. I was too ill at the time and my memory is still hazy.

What I remember – I heard it over and over and over again this week – is that these nice people who run the country have managed to save  us at the last moment. They apparently spent 14 hours negotiating with a bunch of nasties, but they did not budge. They defended the interests of the people and national sovereignty and have managed to borrow more money than any other country ever before, to pay for they loans they got to pay for things. And maybe by 2020 the debt will become manageable. There are a few ifs and buts here but hey – a cat does not live that long. And if the ifs and buts work out, the debt will be repaid sometime in the mid 2040s. But that is for someone else to worry about.

Some people say that there are some good things that came out of this two and a half year rescue operation. For example, charity is becoming fashionable once again. Not that many of my fellow cats have noticed – but apparently there are more and more people in this country  that are homeless and rely on soup kitchens for their main meal of the day. Some reports even show people in big cities to scavenge in dustbins for food. Just like us cats, except that they have to pay taxes on top. Poverty is not an excuse for not being taxed. I hope being a cat is”.

One Eye The Cat,
Friday  24  February  2012

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